it always turns toward food.

Conversations, that is. With pregnant women. I never really noticed it, but my friend is right. See e-mail thread:

Me: I stopped having dreams of Husband being gay. Now I've been dreaming of black musicians or movie stars delivering my baby. Last night it was Morgan Freeman. He was narrating the entire process like he does in nature documentaries. I wanted him to shut up and he wouldn't. Then he started narrating about ME and why I was so upset and agitated.

The night before it was Lenny Kravitz. And before that it was Prince. Does Prince count as a black guy? I think he does. The night before THAT was some black TV star with an afro, and I think I may have seen him on Grey's Anatomy or some other medical drama. Or maybe it was John Legend.

On top of that, each time they deliver the baby, they just hand it over to me and I don't know what to do. In one of those dreams I was wheeled into a closet and the lights were turned off and everyone went to lunch.

Friend #1: I think Prince counts as a black gay guy. Hopefully once Husband gets home, you will be able to sleep better. Stop watching the Discovery Channel or any other documentary with Morgan Freeman. That might help, too.

Friend #2: Is Prince gay?

Is there a 50/50 chance that your baby might be black? I mean, since you're getting close to the end, maybe you are subconsciously worrying and fretting that the baby will be black and Husband will demand answers.

I know a chick who did that. Her man didn't suspect a thing. Until what should have been a white baby came out half black. OMG! Can you imagine?

Friend #1: Seriously he wears higher heels than (coworker A and coworker B) combined. Prince HAS to be gay. Hey, how did that family situation turn out?

Friend #2: I think he walked out of the delivery room! I didn't really know her. I knew of her though. It happened to the brother of a guy I was dating. I met the girl a few times while she was pregnant. Never saw her again after the baby was born. Saw the brother a few times afterward and he wasn't a happy camper. Didn't have much good to say about her.

Me: No kidding. That's stuff that only happens in movies. I can't imagine what it would be like to have that happen or know someone who had that happen. I wouldn't know what to say. It would be an awkward conversation. What do you say? Do you tell them, "I'm sorry that happened to you" and then offer them a cookie? Cookies always make me feel better. I have a feeling that cookies might not help with this situation though. Especially if they were Oreos. I love Oreos...

Friend #2: Pregnant women are SO fun to have conversations with. It always turns to food.