MORE bad parenting pictures.

I am nervous to be a mom, but I know I'll do a good job. As long as I refrain from doing the things in these pictures.

oreos? yes, please..

Know what's good? Oreo cheesecake. Know what's not good? Having to make it and wait forever. Seriously, cheesecakes take forever. They are worth the wait.....unless of course, you are pregnant, and want it now. Because I've come to realize that when I crave something, if I take a while to make it, by the time it's ready I don't want it anymore. This is why I haven't made lasagna - ONCE - while I have been pregnant. Husband hasn't said anything to me about it, which surprises me, because he usually asks for it after going a couple of months without it. I was talking about making manicotti the other night though, so that's a possibility on the horizon. But in any case, back to cheesecake. I don't know if I've ever blogged my cheesecake recipe or not. I'm not sure I will. Frankly, there are some recipes that aren't recipes I want to share with others. Why? Because, then everyone will know how to make it and nobody will tell me how amazing my cheesecake is, because they can make it themselves and take credit for it. I may have made the mistake of blogging it already, but if not...well, I don't know if I will. I might. I might not. It doesn't matter.

Because today I wanted an Oreo cheesecake and I refuse to take the time to make it. It doesn't take long to put together. It's the baking that takes a while. You have to bake it at one temperature for a certain amount of time, then lower the temperature and bake it longer, then shut the oven off and leave it in the oven with the door closed for a certain amount of time, then crack the oven door and leave it in there for a certain amount of time, then let the cheesecake cool on the counter for a certain amount of time, and then chill it overnight. It's literally almost two days before it's ready. Now, mind you, most people don't do cheesecake this way. Most people don't even use a water bath when they do it (I use a water bath). But their cheesecake is also dry, heavy, and cracked in the middle. Mine is perfect. You can't rush perfection.

You can and must rush cravings though when the time calls for it. Thus, no-bake Oreo cheesecake or pie is just fine. It's definitely not the same, but it's just fine.

What do you need?

1 package of Oreos
1/4 cup butter, melted
4 packages of cream cheese, softened to room temperature
1/3 cup of sugar (I forgot to mention this before. Oops. That'd be gross otherwise)
1 teaspoon of vanilla
1 tub of Cool Whip (thawed)

Coarsely chop 15 Oreos and put them in a bowl. Move it away. Finely grind the rest of the Oreos in a food processor and then mix with the melted butter. Yay, crust! Press into the bottom of a 13x9 inch pan. Throw in the fridge while making the filling.

Beat cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla in a large bowl with the mixer until well blended. Gently (with a spatula or spoon) fold in the Cool Whip and chopped up cookies and spread onto the crust. Refrigerate for a few hours until firm. You can save some cookies to throw on top to make it look nice.


Personally, I like to do it in muffin cups instead. Especially if you're trying to be somewhat accountable for what you are eating, then at least you won't sit down and eat half the pan.


Then I put it in my freezer so it would set up faster. My freezer is kind of a mess. Look at it. But I can tell you exactly what is in there. At least there isn't anything mysterious. Frozen cookie dough, venison chops wrapped in butcher paper, fresh picked raspberries from last summer, gluten-free tortillas, ice cream, snowman ice cream bars, black bean burgers, fake chicken patties, some frozen veggies I don't want to eat... 4 different pints of ice cream, garlic toast, a chocolate bar, some juice, frozen mango... I feel like most of this stuff should be thrown. Some of it has been in there for a while. I'm sure things go bad even in the freezer.


You can use the Golden Oreos or the mint ones or any of them really. I like the double stuffed.

If you don't want to do all of this work, honestly, the Jell-O no-bake boxed mix is good, but not as good. But really, it's pretty good. And I have a confession. I didn't make this recipe today. I made the boxed mix.


I found it in my cupboard when I was pulling ingredients for brownies (I was going to make brownies) and then decided to make this instead. But it made me think about the actual no-bake recipe, and I had to share it with you. Because I care, and I think that it's important to do nice things for people, like share good recipes. You'll thank me one day. Probably the day that you make this dessert.

My nails look bad. I need to re-do the polish.

MORE bad maternity photos

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. These were too good to pass up.

She's a mermaid. A pregnant mermaid.


The lollipop makes it classy, and not trashy at all. Right?


Your tattoo is stupid.


I don't even know what to say. I just hope that Husband is ready to balance on his head so I can balance my naked belly on his taint.


Is she pregnant? Or is this just yet another picture in which a dude needs to find a way to show off his stupid (and bad) tattoo?


American Beauty pictures were trendy like 10+ years ago. This is.....not good.


I'm never visiting the Everglades now. OMG.


Oh gosh. Oh my gosh.


Is she a hostage? I don't know. She looks happy though.


Maybe this girl and the guy up above were actually pointing guns at each other. I don't know. I'm scared and confused. She is ruining the serenity of the peaceful garden surrounded by a chain link fence. You came here to pray and meditate, and she's going to shoot you in the face. But not until after you take her picture.

developments

Sofie is learning new and exciting things! Although I can't feel her kicks too often, I'm starting to feel them occasionally, especially when she kicks my bladder and makes me pee myself. Every day the anticipation on whether I'll pee myself is overwhelming. Each morning it's a gamble. Do I bring a change of underwear to work or not? I should probably just buy some Always with Wings and wear them, but I haven't worn pads since I was 13 and got my period, and it makes me feel like I'm wearing a diaper.

Then again, maybe I should wear a diaper.

In other news, Husband and I came tonight to find that Monster had taken a dump and then decided to wipe her ass on my kitchen rug. It smeared onto the linoleum floor. I had never seen anything like that from her. I think she might be upset about something and that's the only way she can express herself. I saw that the catbox was rather full. I think that's why. So, I told husband he should probably clean it more often so she doesn't do that again. At least it was a small rug that I can throw in the wash. If it had been my large area rug, we would have had to shampoo the carpet and I'm really in no mood to do that.

I'm still feeling sort of flu-like. Still coughing, but not as bad. In a few days I should be back to normal again. I'm looking forward to that.

Tomorrow Husband is going to go fly airplanes with my dad. My dad is a flight instructor and Husband wants to learn, so he's pretty excited to be going up tomorrow. I think it's nice that he and my dad are spending some good bonding time together. I will be sleeping in front of the TV hanging out with Max for the morning. Looking forward to that too. :)

I got to have coffee tonight with my good buddy Allison. I don't see enough of her. She should get a nursing job here in town so she can move back and stay here.

Nothing else to say. I titled this blog "developments" with the plan on talking about different things Sofie is up to, but really, I'm too tired to discuss it now. All I talked about was her making me pee my pants. I think she has taste buds now too, and she dreams, and might be starting to develop some fat. Yay Sofie!!

It's way past my bedtime.

Friday

This is horrible.

Who is she? Why is she singing? How did she get a record deal? Why is she sitting at a bus stop if her friends are picking her up in their car? Why is she so indecisive about whether to sit in the back or the front? Why is she telling us that Thursday comes before Friday and that Sunday comes after Saturday?

There is no such thing as music or real talent anymore.

oy.

Only one thing sucks more than being sick...and that's being sick when you are pregnant. Can't take any medicine at all really. Super lame. BUT.. I have discovered that drinking hot water with lemon and honey makes you feel better for the time being. That is, until it's all gone. Still okay though. I hate the flu.

I'm on day 5 of being down with the sickness. Husband has been so helpful (like he always is anyway) and is quick to do anything he can to make me feel better. He's a good good guy and I'm lucky and I love him. I feel bad - I have been doing absolutely nothing. I missed two days of work. I went today and felt sort of productive, but not really. I tried though. Meh.

I'm watching American Idol. I don't know why I do this. I don't like any of these people. I keep thinking I'll be surprised and I'm not. *sigh*

I did get a kick out of the girl who smeared lipstick all over her face with the microphone by accident. That ruled.

I think I'm losing my voice. That's what I get for going to work today and spending so much time on the phone.

Off to make more lemon tea. :)

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