5 days....

...until my due date!

Are you enjoying this countdown? I'm not, really. I would like to have her. But this makes it interesting for a few minutes each day.

This post is chock full of TMI so if you don't want to hear about things that might gross you out, then I suggest you leave and come back tomorrow.

I woke up this morning feeling alright. Kind of sluggish, but still had enough energy to want to go and get a pedicure. My friend Jenna picked me up a little after 9 and we got to the place around 9:30. I have lavender colored toes now with sparkly flowers and jewels. I took a picture, but it didn't look as nice in the picture. The camera picks up every little thing and as nice as my feet look, they looked freaky on camera. Plus, nobody really likes looking at pictures of feet. Unless you're some sort of freak with a foot fetish, and if that's the case and you are reading my blog, that's creepy.

After the pedicure, we stopped at Starbucks and I got my iced venti soy chai, and then Jenna dropped me off back at home. I waddled inside, and that's when it started. The uncomfortableness. I still don't know if I'm going to be able to explain it well because I don't fully understand it. All I know is that the pelvic pressure I was having was super uncomfortable. I went to the bathroom which usually helps (because it sort of hurts if I have to pee and I don't go pee), but that didn't help this time. So I took off my clothes because they felt tight, and I tried to lay down. I couldn't get comfortable. So I sat on the bouncy ball for a while, which seemed to help a little, and then I tried to lay down again. But then I couldn't get comfortable, so I went back on the ball. This back and forth from the bed to the ball went on pretty much all day and I started to get upset. I was tired and wanted to take a nap but it's hard to do that when you can't get comfortable. I was also having these lightning bolts of pain hitting me in the sides of my belly and in other unmentionable areas. AND, I kept feeling like I had to go poop but every time I'd go sit on the toilet, the feeling would go away and of course there was no pooping to be had.

My mother-in-law stopped by for a little while since she was in town. Then she left. OH, I did put clothes on before she came over. After she left, I went back upstairs, and was feeling worse. Now I was feeling as though something was going to fall out of me. The only way I can describe it, is that it felt as if my water bag was bulging out of my cervix. Like something was stuck up there. Like when you put a tampon in but you mess up and it doesn't go in all the way. Gross, right? So, I sat on the ball again. Then I tried to lay down around 3:30, and was actually able to get comfortable and get a short nap in before Husband got home. When I woke up, I still had that heavy feeling but that weird bulging feeling has since subsided. I also had an appetite, which was good, because Husband brought me some potato oles from Taco Johns. Sweet.

So, I'm sitting on my bed now after having spent some more time on the ball to relieve some more lower back and pelvic pain, but I'm still having these shooting pains in a bad area. I'm also having pain in the sides of my belly. I've had some mild painless contractions today, and the only reason I noticed them was because I had my hands on my belly when they were happening. Nothing regular though.

Know what? This sucks.

I was talking to my friend Nicole on the phone and explained that, it's not that I just want to push this baby out for selfish reasons. I have this sense of anxiety that if she's in there too long, something bad will happen - like the placenta will die or she'll poop or something and get really sick. Nicole reminded me that things like that only happen if I'm really overdue, like 43 weeks, and my midwife won't allow me to go that far anyway. I'm not even DUE yet. But I think that's where a lot of this frustration is stemming from - the anxiety I am having. I'm also starting to have anxiety off and on about the whole labor process. It's scary to think about. I'm paranoid that she's going to get stuck and we're both going to die or something. I'm sure it's perfectly normal to feel this way, but I really don't like it, and I need to just stop worrying about it. I'm sure that if my midwife was concerned about complications during birth, they would have been addressed by this time. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I'm going to try and get comfortable and see if I'm able to take a nap. Maybe I'll wake up with contractions and the countdown will end and tomorrow I can say I have a baby.