I went out of town to spend some time with my mom at a resort in the middle of nowhere. There was this women's retreat with my church. It was pretty nice, but I felt sick most of the weekend so I was pretty antisocial. I slept all day on Saturday. I didn't take very many pictures as a result, because I didn't leave the hotel much. I did take a couple of pictures of the place, along with a picture of a mushroom that I saw growing in the grass near the parking lot as I was loading my suitcase into the back of my SUV this morning.
Here's the mushroom.
Here is a picture of the mushroom quesadillas that I ordered via room service. I do not believe that they were made from the same mushrooms I saw growing outside. For $15, they better not have been.
And, here are some pictures of the resort.
Fast forward to this evening. The weekend was fine. But I really missed my husband. So I came home and he decided it would be a good idea to go on a date. So he took me to a casual place that we frequent because their food is good and they have all day happy hour on football days and also during the week from 5pm to 7pm.
Oh, but I forgot to mention - on Friday about an hour after I left, he called me and told me that our other car (which is a stick shift) was stuck in 2nd gear. Great. He planned on getting it over to our friend's auto repair shop at some point during the weekend. Driving it was out of the question so it had to be towed. I swear, it's always something.
My dad said that he could get it towed for us free of charge because of some thing he is signed up for. I don't know what. Anyway, so fast forward to tonight again. We're at dinner. We ordered food. Then my dad calls and says that the tow-truck guy will be at our place "within the hour" and my husband has to be there. So he leaves to go and meet the guy. He told the waitress to ask the kitchen to take his steak off of the grill for now. He leaves me alone. I've never been left alone at a restaurant while on a date. I suppose there is a first time for everything.
Once, I did that to a guy. It was a blind date. We went to a movie. We were going to watch "1o Things I Hate About You." During the credits, I had already discovered 10 things I hated about him. I excused myself to use the restroom and I never came back. That was 10 years ago. I hope he isn't still waiting for me to return.
Since it was my husband who had to leave me (for a good reason) I knew he would come back to get me.
I thought it would be okay. I thought I could eat my spinach tortellini and have a mint chocolate martini alone and have it not be awkward. But it was awkward. I ate really slow but I couldn't even look like I had a reason for eating alone. I had nothing to pretend to be working on. No laptop. All I had to read was the martini menu. So I ordered the chocolate hazelnut-tini. I ate a little more pasta. I ate a piece of cheesy bread. I did it in a fancy way. Then I ordered a vanilla chocolate martini. It left much to be desired, so I ate some more bread. I started to feel really embarrassed and vulnerable. I was worried that people might be talking about me. What if people thought that I was some sad alcoholic? Or worse yet, what if they thought I was on a blind date and my date ditched me by telling me he was going to use the restroom and then he never came back? It was obvious someone had been with me momentarily, based on the half-empty glass of Diet Coke.
What's a girl to do? I called my husband's friend, who was also the best man at our wedding. I told him that I would buy him a beer if he came and kept me company. I didn't really explain, just that I needed him to hang out with me because the high class impression I was hoping to make was failing. I didn't even have a fancy hat to wear.
So, best man to the rescue. We talked about the Twilight Saga, my husband's ex-girlfriend, and plans for Halloween. I did buy him a beer. He paid for his own buffalo wings. My husband did arrive after a little over an hour. By the time we all left, I had been there for over two hours, over half of that time spent dominating the martini menu alone. During this time, the waitress had begun calling my husband by the nickname that I call him, which was both confusing and upsetting to me. I'm glad we left when we did.
Too tired for a 10 in 10. Here's a 5 in 5.
1.) Why do so many brides want their bridesmaids to look ugly? Putting your girls in unflattering dresses that make their calves look fat and shoes that give even the skinniest girls cankles isn't going to make you prettier. It's just going to make me think you have bad taste.
2.) Along with the wedding topic - trying too hard at being trendy just ends up looking tacky. It's bad enough you made your bridesmaids ugly. Tacky. Sad. Less is more. LESS is MORE.
3.) I know that just because something is both vegan and organic doesn't mean it is healthy or that I should eat it. But I don't smoke, do cocaine, or shoplift. I will eat this Pumpkin Spice Cookie from the Alternative Baking Company.
4.) Before I left for the weekend, I had my hair colored to be its natural color. It's black. Kim Kardashian black. It's really dark and I'm not used to it, but this is apparently what I am supposed to look like. I am currently wearing a black shirt, and my skin is super pale right now, and I look like I'm going to perform a spell. Or listen to The Cure.
5.) I really would like to have a baby. I can't help but think that my solo vodka party tonight may have been counterproductive.
My stomach hurts.
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