Italian Americans are residents of the United States who can trace their ancestry to Italy or other regions where the Italian language is widely spoken. Today, they constitute around 6% of the US population. I'm proud to say that I can connect slightly with this culture, as I have Italian ancestry on my mom's side. Then again, if you ask my friends, I can probably connect with just about any nationality. Feliz Navidad.
I like to channel my Italian heritage. It shows in my cooking. I make good authentic Italian food. I like to think that I have extremely strong ties to my family as well (which I suppose is seen in a lot of cultures, but not so much in the average American family today). I also like to think that I also pull the southern Italian side in how I look. I can identify with the rest of my cultural background, mainly the Guam ancestry, but when I look at pictures of my family, I just don't see as much resemblance. My parents might beg to differ, but that's okay. They never agree with me on anything.
It ends there though, as I'm a mixed breed. But I can't help and get annoyed with how Italian Americans are portrayed today. I blame you, Snookie. You should adopt Garfield as a new nickname, because you are orange and you like lasagna. Seriously. Who thought up this show? And if that isn't bad enough, now there are more. Jersey Couture. Jerseylicious. I'm so irritated by all of it, but at the same time, I am fascinated. FASCINATED! How do they get their hair to look like that?!
Well, just ask Tracy.
Life in early Italian neighborhoods in the 1900s revolved around family, church, and locally owned businesses. But see, people don't know that. People think that being Italian American means living off of Route 22 in Green Brook, New Jersey, working at a hair salon in a strip mall next to a mattress store. Life apparently revolves around fake boobs, acrylic nails, smokey eye shadow, synthetic hair extensions, fake tans, huge earrings, and bad accents. And don't forget about GTL. If you don't know what that means, it's how you spend a day off. Gym, tan, and laundry.
Did you know that many Italians don't have dark hair and olive skin like me? Northern Italians have pale skin, blonde or red hair, and light eyes. It would make sense since that part of the country is so close to Austria and Switzerland. As you get further south toward the Mediterranean, the hair and skin gets darker. Not all Italians eat pasta and meatballs either. And chicken isn't usually paired with pasta. And 'peperoni' means bell pepper in Italy, not some sort of cured meat sausage.
Shame. Shame on you, cast of Jersey Shore. Shame on all of you, tanning bed mongers. Don Corleone would be disgusted.
I have to go get a spray tan now.
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