- I went for a walk the other day while I was at work. I walked downtown. I saw a SWAT vehicle. It was black and looked like an amazing armored vehicle and it said:
[insert county name] COUNTY SHERIFF DEPT S.W.A.T. TEAM
I guess they aren't concerned about being inconspicuous. I questioned why it was in the parking lot of a massage parlor. Then I questioned myself as to why I did not have my camera with me. My co-worker, Jessie, can vouch, as she was there and saw it, too.
- Speaking of Jessie, I need to give her honorable mention. When I had my solo vodka party the other night, I was texting her and she was giving me advice on what to do. I don't remember much, but I do remember her trying to convince me to make a hat out of my menu. I didn't do it. Thanks, Jessie.
- I went and visited my pregnant friend in the hospital yesterday. She isn't due until Thanksgiving, but the baby is coming early. I went to see her with my other pregnant friend. I'm really starting to feel like the outcast. I'd say 'third wheel' but that's stupid, because many vehicles have three wheels. Like tricycles and....well, I guess that's it.
- I made a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner.
- I can't wait for tonight's episode of South Park. It's all about New Jersey.
- Speaking of New Jersey, the old lady who works at the grocery store in the small town south of here is afraid of me. She thinks I'm one of the Jerseys. It's because I dyed my hair jet black, which I mentioned before. I really don't want to have to get a spray tan, so people need to stop making assumptions.
- I am fat. I need to start jogging or something.
- Jessie's plant is dying of cancer. We sent a sympathy card around so people could sign it. Again, your State tax dollars at work.
- Every time my mother is angry with me, she gives me the silent treatment for days, except she calls and leaves me cold voicemails asking me to return her [insert clothing or jewelry item here] that I borrowed at one time. It's her right to have her things back of course, which I will comply with. I just find it interesting that she only does that when she is mad, and continues to ignore my text messages and whatnot aside from that. It's a recurrent pattern. On a sidenote to that, I think my parents are considering disowning me. But I don't really want them to. So I feel that if I keep her earrings and tell her that I haven't found them yet, she'll have an excuse to call me again. I did that to my husband when we first started dating, only it was slightly different. I was head over heels for him and I was paranoid that he didn't feel the same way. So I thought I would have to devise some way to give him an excuse to call me. I borrowed his favorite movie and consistently "forgot" to bring it over each time I'd visit. After we got married I told him about my evil plan to keep him from blowing me off. He told me that was silly, because if he hadn't liked me, he would have just bought another copy of the movie. Wow, thanks!
- I bought this amazing yarn from this place. It's silk ribbon yarn, made from recycled saris, hand spun by women in India, it's fair trade, and overall just plain amazing. I made a scarf.
I love it. I love all the colors and how it's from just one skein of yarn. I have three more skeins. I don't know what to make. PRETTY SILK SCARF!!!
Angry cat is angry because she cannot eat the yarn. So angry!
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