I promise...

I promise not to become a mom who wears mom jeans.

I promise not to get a mom haircut.

I promise not to drive a minivan (sorry, I know a lot of you like those, but I don't).

I promise not to show every person in the world pictures of my kid unless they express interest in wanting to see them.

I promise not to update my Facebook status with every single little thing my kid does. I realize that no matter how excited I am, nobody is going to care that my baby rolled over, made a weird noise, or peed in the toilet. Nobody will care except for my close friends and family. I promise to remember that.

I promise to not allow my kid to make a huge mess in a restaurant and think it's cute and not try to clean it up.

I promise to leave the grocery store if my child won't stop screaming.

I promise not to leave dried food or snot on my kid's face.

I promise to change my clothes before I go shopping if it so happens that my kid spit up or drooled all over me.

I realize that these are things that people forget about...but they're all things that gross me out. I don't want to do these things. So, that being said, I promise not to.